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Home for the Holidays? How is Your Veteran Loved One?
Topic for December
Home for the Holidays?
How is Your Veteran Loved One?
As many are starting to gather again for the holidays, it is a common time for family members to take stock of how things are going for their aging loved ones and ask questions like:
- Is the environment safe?
- Are there concerns about memory loss?
- What types of services and supports at home might help?
- How do I start a tough conversation?
Even when visits happen in person, people often avoid talking about getting older, getting help at home, getting sick, and dying. Talking about these topics can be hard.
We worry about making our loved ones feel uneasy or putting a damper on the holiday cheer. That does not change how important it is to talk about these topics. Here are some tips and resources that can help you get the conversation started.
Tips
- Use a conversation starter – from a TV show, movie, book, or article
- Connect your talk with a life event – like a doctor’s visit, memorial service, death of a friend or loved one
- Share your wishes before you ask someone about their wishes
Resources
- A values worksheet to help clarify what is important
- Choosing someone to make decisions for you
- Planning for future health care decisions (79-page workbook published by VA)
You can also talk with a social worker if you need help starting a conversation with your loved ones about your wishes or completing the VA Advance Directive.
